Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Who is the candy-ass who came up with THIS stuff?? Oh, right. Jesus Christ. What a hell of a guy. Those are great sentiments, really sentimental and touchy-feely. Good thing he ain't peddling that hippie peace, love and happiness crap here in the modern-day U. S. of A., though, bub. I mean, it was nice of Jesus to (supposedly) start a whole new religion and all and comments like these certainly had relevance in the pre-9/11 era. But I believe it was George W. Bush who said it best when he commented, "I think we agree, the past is over."
Some modern American Christians may be interested in winning your heartfelt conversion, but only after having first administered a down-home, Old Testament-style ass-kicking. Take the GodMen ("Where Faith Gets Dangerous"), the heir apparent to that creepy stadium movement of the 1990s, the Promise Keepers. GodMen "creates an environment familiar with and conducive to the way men are made comfortable and the unique way men interact." Now, there are lots of ways to possibly interpret this, including:
- GodMen is about groups of men gathering together to watch ESPN and soft-core porn as a means to promoting a male-centric brand of spirituality;
- GodMen is about groups of men gathering together to prepare and consume a huge steak dinner, complete with brandy snifters, Cuban cigars, and the dank residue of English Leather heavy in the air; or
- GodMen is a homo-erotic, Jesus-centric version of Fight Club.
Whatever the hell GodMen is, it AIN'T got anything to do with establishing a community of believers whose daily lives are modeled on the teachings of Jesus Christ. You know, with these guys peddling this fabricated macho, Iron John spirituality as a form of Christian fellowship, I think that instead of GodMen what you have are MadMen: "What you are, what you want, what you love doesn't matter. It's all about how you sell it."
GodMen may want to kick each other's asses in the name of Jesus, and possibly yours too, you heathen scum. Not to be outdone, however, Justin Fatica wants you to kick HIS ass- in the name of Jesus.
Um.... OK. Clearly Justin is an evangelist in the mold of the lesser Baldwin brother, Stephen, aka "psycho for Jesus": "I represent the new breed of Christians, baby, that are gettin' ready to kick ass in the name of the Kingdom." So, if you follow Brother Justin or Brother Stephen, kids, looks like you'll be trading in your Jesus sandals for some steel-toe shit-kickers. I'm sure it's all right there in black and white in at least one of the Gospels...I don't know where these lunatics get off promoting this hyper-aggressive brand of physicality as a form of Christian worship and fellowship, but I don't like it. What good can come of it? I mean, if this keeps up, the next thing you know Jesus' own birthplace in Bethlehem will be the staging ground for a mano-a-mano gang brawl between priests. Oh, snap!
- Doug L.
FOR FURTHER REFERENCE:
Justin Fatica, Hard As Nails Ministry (ABC News Nightline, December 17, 2007)
Brad Stine's 'GodMen': Promise Keepers on steroids (MediaTransparency.org, December 24, 2007)
Dude, Where's My Cross? (Salon.com, October 19, 2006)
There's No Way I'm Saving that Guy, by Jesus Christ (The Onion, June 28, 2006)
Cuernavaca Center For International Dialogue and Development (CCIDD)
The Catholic Worker
The Complete Bushisms (Slate.com, edited by Jacob Weisberg)
No comments:
Post a Comment